Something I’m starting to learn, and should have already learned is that you can not rush the presence of God. You have to be patient, be still, and wait for that small still voice. This morning, before reading some scripture, I prayed “Lord, please remove all distractions. Please help me to focus on You. Lord, please speak to me through your word today.” As I opened my Bible, I came across these verses from Haggai 1.-5 Now this is what the LORD Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. 6You have planted much, but have harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.” After reading these verses, I sat there for a minute and thought about what I have “planted much of, but harvested little.” As I was thinking, I began to pray. “Lord, what is it that I need to harvest more of? What is it You have called me to do?” I have been praying for a while now about what I should major in, what area of work I would be good at, what God is wanting me to do with my life, ect. As I was praying and thinking about this, I was wondering if maybe God was using these verses to show me what it was He had called me to do?
The second part of this verse also stuck out to me. “You eat, but never have enough. Drink, but never have your fill.” How many times have I always wanted more instead of being satisfied with what I have?
After praying, and thinking for a while, and not really knowing a sure answer, or really what this verse meant for me, I started to close my Bible and move on with the day. As I started to close my Bible, I felt a little tug at my heart. Kind of as if to say “Don’t close your Bible, and move on with your day yet. There is something here you’re missing.” I opened my Bible back up and read, and reread the verses over and over again.
Then, I remembered I wanted to get on the internet before I left for class. I think this was when the distraction came in and took over. After I had just prayed “Lord, please remove all distractions.” Instead of waiting and being still, allowing God time to speak, I shut my Bible once again and thought “I’ll have to come back and read this verse again later. I don’t have time right now.” But as I got on the internet and went about my day, I could not stop getting those verses out of my head.
Later on, while I was sitting in class I had a thought of “Maybe God was not done speaking to you this morning. Maybe you let the internet over take your time with God. Maybe god was waiting to see if you would be still and allow him to speak to you.” The more I thought about it, the more I could picture God saying “You were so close.”
Now, as I sit here, writing this, I feel a sense of sadness. I feel like I rushed God, instead of being still and allowing him to speak to me.
This may be all my perception only, and God may not have been going to speak to me in the first place. All I know is that this morning, I felt like God was not done yet when I decided getting on the internet was more important than spending time with the creator of the universe. I have felt sad, and said a prayer of sorry more than once. I just hope God will try again, and this time I will listen.
As I was reading my newsletter from Youth Specialties, I found this quote: “He who runs from God in the morning will scarcely find him the rest of the day.” -John Bunyan This hurt.
I learned several things through what happened this morning. First, I learned you can’t rush God’s presence. You have to be still, and wait. God will speak on his terms, not ours. Second, I learned that nothing is more important than spending time with God. As I look back now, I wish I would not have even thought about getting on the internet.
